Where are you?
In a non slutty way
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
