you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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