Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
