i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
This baby is an asshole
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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