i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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