I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
