I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
