never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
