I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
