Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I checked into jail on foursquare
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize