Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
