sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
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We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
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If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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