she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The feeling are messing with the penis
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
