he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
