ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
