this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
