Someone shit on the floor
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
