The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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