think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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