This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
