wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
