your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
