Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
