I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
