Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
