idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
is it fun? or sober?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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