Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
