he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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