That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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