When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
