Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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