i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
