Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
We named our party play list daddy issues
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
