I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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