thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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