Best friends brother. Beat that.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
