I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
