my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
