question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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