Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
