As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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