doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
