you guys were way drunker than both of me
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
