I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
