Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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