I just cut my nipple shaving
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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