she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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