Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
