Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
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I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
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i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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