I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
