i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We had to coat check the pizza.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
