Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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