Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
