apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
