He had one of those small greek statue penises
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My dick has a subreddit
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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