I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
how drunk are you?
Several
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
