I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
