Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
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