okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
