hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i dont even know how to be here
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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