Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
