Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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