areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
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We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
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I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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